SUPERMOM, yeah she is the one that I thought I would someday be and sometimes on rare occassions I might still think that I am. As a young woman I had the opinion that I would be this amazing mother, loving and nuturing. I would have it all figured out. I realize that life is not easy and it was never promised to me that it would be easy. In fact I don't remember being given any promises by God regarding anything on the day of my birth. I was just happy to have life.
So like I mentioned above I was already having a not so good, very bad day. I went to church this morning where I cried my eyes out. Sometimes I don't understand why our son has to have Cri du Chat, Autism and ADHD. Sometimes I am just tired and exhausted. Sometimes, I don't want to do it anymore. But I am a mother first and foremost and quiting or giving up has never been an option so I keep my chin up and I keep moving forward. So we might have a bad day here or there. We get through it and we move on. After church Caleb and I went to WalMart to buy stuff to make Chilli for lunch. The trip was okay and I was feeling better after my morning cry. You see Supermoms cry but it is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that we have been strong for to long.
We were standing in the checkout lane when I heard a woman screaming behind us near the jewelry counter. Everyone stopped, they all stared and watched as the male managers ran over and broke up the commotion. It was scary at first and I was not sure what was going on, in this day and age you never know anymore. Then I seen them pull out of the mix a teenager with Autism. He was yelling about wanting a playstation. I am not sure exactly what happened, but I did see one of the managers holding a purse up out of his reach. I believe that what maybe happened was that he attacked a woman who had a playstation in her cart?? Then a manager asked "Is everyone ok??" The teenager then yelled at the top of his lungs "Is everyone ok??" over and over. I looked around again and noticed that about half of the store on a busy Saturday had stopped to watch. I looked down as I was not going to be one of those who was staring and I began to cry for this momma and her family, for her son. I know all to well the stares and the embaressment that comes with meltdowns in the store. The boy was a teenager but no different from other kids with autism. I felt at that moment that I needed to do something to help. But what? What could I have done? Nothing at this point would of helped. I know that when my son goes into meltdown mode in a store I just want to be left alone. So I decided to use the oppertunity as an awareness tool. I looked at the cashier and told her that he has autism and that one of the worst issues is that when your child melts down in a store everyone stares and then wants to judge you and tell you what you are doing wrong in raising your child or they want to give you pointers. Her and the lady next to me shook their heads and said that it was wrong. But I still didn't feel that I did enough. I looked over my shoulder and seen what I think is his mom and a man walking him out of the store. He was yelling over and over "Charlie wants his daddy!!!" while everyone in the store continued to stare. At that point I had to stop myself from chasing her out of the store and telling her that it happens and not to be embaressed. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that I understand. At that moment, I felt helpless.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about this incident and about how she felt. Wondering if she was ok and if maybe she herself felt a rip in her cape today.
So maybe supermoms are not those that have it all together, maybe they are the ones who can hold their head high in the midst of a mess and carry on.
To my Special Needs Momma's I salute you!!! WE ARE SUPERMOMS!!!
